The future is slowly becoming the present and it's terrifying.

Sometimes, OK, a lot of times, I wonder why God made me the way he did. Each person has his/her own weaknesses or negative tendencies...but I just feel like mine are a tad over the top. It just seems like certain people are just able to cope better, able to love better, able to interact with people better, etc.

Meanwhile, I sit here doubting people, doubting God (not just his plans...but his very existence), wanting to be alone a lot, being overly critical, and so much more. These aren't just views that I have of myself, they have been confirmed to me by people I am the closest too.

What the heck? (*note: discernment was used there) How is it possible for God to create a person who has such a strong tendency towards all things negative? Some people love too much. At least love is a good thing.

Sometimes I just want to meet a person like me so that I don't feel so alone.